Spring.



Love Me Then Leave Me.

We’re walking in the sand,
And you are holding my hand.
Your eyes are sparkling like the sea.
And I just see you and me ♥

-Laura Marling

Light & Shade.

I could fall at any moment. And who'd be there to catch me?
I feel like I'm suffocating, I just want to scream out to the world. There's a pain burning inside of me. I'd like nothing more than to just break down and cry, but I can't. I have to keep it together. I have to be strong.
Life can be so unfair, but what does whining about it achieve? Nothing. That's what. What right do I have to complain? I'm still here, you're not. You were taken from us before your time, but now you live through us. It's up to us to keep your fire burning and to find the light in the darkest of situations.

Escape.

My escape. It's so close now. It's in my grasp, I can almost taste it, it fills my heart with warmth and invades my thoughts until I find it hard to concentrate on anything else. It keeps me up at night, I lie there in the dark fantasizing about it. I find it hard to drift off now if I haven't thought about it.
I think it's imperative that I get out soon. This place is suffocating me. Day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year. One of the things that keeps me alive is the knowledge that one day soon I'll be gone. Out of this place. Away from these people. Living the life I should be.

Crashing.

If I was to leave this world, would anyone really miss me?
I feel alone. I know I'm not, I'm surrounded by people but they don't understand. No one knows what's going on in my head but me. Even the people who are closest to me feel a million miles away.
I am alone, a prisoner to my thoughts. And I don't know how to escape.

Wake me up inside..

-Aren't you scared?
-Yeah... Terrified.

I'm terrified of these feelings I have for you. I'm terrified of you not feeling the same. I'm terrified of many things, but losing you is by far the biggest fear of all.

You.

And just like that, just like that, it all started again.

One Boxing Day..

The floor, covered with snow.

The grass, poking through, dewy shoots pearled with water.

The lake, iced over.

The ducks, sliding, skating, scrabbling for bread.

The mist of children's breath, clouding the playground's air.

The steam, wafting out of cups of hot chocolate.

The rosiness of cheeks and noses, fighting the winter elements.

The secret smiles, the laughter, families reunited.

The perfect day..

Am I alive and living?
Or am I alive but merely existing?